Judge orders jail or Jesus

News & Politics

"Dear Pastor Abner, I just finished reading an article about the fine work Judge Michael Caperton is doing down there in Clay County. By giving drunks a choice between jail and church, he's doing his part to bring strays back into the flock," writes Jesus' General. "I'm a huge fan of faith-based rehab programs. As a matter of fact, I'm trying to get a grant for one, myself, but it's tough. You send a couple of faith lackers to the hospital and all of a sudden there's no more grant money to give out this year. One guy went so far as to tell me that maybe I should use non-poisonous serpents in my worship treatments. Can you believe that? That's what all this secularism has done to this country. How can you run a truly Christian-based rehab clinic without strychnine and rattlesnakes?" (Jesus' General)

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