This Little Pea Did Not Eat Roast Beef

Please only bounce the waffle iron off my forehead a couple of times as I tentatively mock and scoff and taunt one of the liberals‚ most sacred of all cows. Which is kind of a joke, although there's no reason you would know that yet. But before I launch into my superfluous onslaught, let me say that even though I don't agree with most of their missions or goals, I'm glad People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is there. Just like Michael Moore is the hefty lefty answer to Rush Limbaugh, PETA acts as a wacky counter balance to the National Rifle Association in terms of embarrassing the two major parties on a fair and equal basis.

All us commie pinko yellow rat bastards laugh,laugh,laugh during those silly legislative seasons when the NRA gets its knickers in a knot arguing how assault weapons can be used as legitimate hunting rifles. OK, sure, right, yeah, I can buy that argument; I mean you can also use a chain saw to cut butter. Just going to get a little messy around muffin time is all I'm saying. And a hand grenade will signal the end of recess. And they look like idiots. And its good.

But then you read about a new PETA program where they make field trips to elementary schools dressed in giant fish suits encouraging kids not to eat fish because fish have feelings too and you just want to hide behind one of those giant Red Lobster menus and moan a little. Then during the calamari appetizer a small giggle escapes. But the moan returns. Because we look like idiots. And it's not good.

The worst part is knowing the hysterical laughter being laughed by the far right wing-nut flippo-units on their "anybody who doesn't agree with us hates America" radio talk shows is a brush being used to paint all liberals. I always considered it a little cheap and easy to slam PETA. Like making fun of the long haired blond girl in the peasant skirt spinning and twirling out of time at the front of the stage while the jazz trio is on break. She ain't hurting nobody. Leave her alone.

But now, that girl is pointing at me yelling "fish murderer." Lady, we're talking fish! We can't eat fish, because we might hurt their feelings? What the hell are we supposed to eat? Fruit? Vegetables? What's next: be solicitous of the head of broccoli's self-esteem? I get the beef and veal deals (they can't move their little heads) and appreciate the meaning of "Free Range Chicken" (fancier packaging and 60 percent mark-up). But now I'm wondering if PETA isn't just trying to make up for the backsliding on the anti-fur campaign which is losing ground fast due to the sheer numbers of ex-hippies getting rich and old, and cold.

C'mon guys, they're fish. Have you ever heard the phrase; "Smart as a fish?" Probably a reason for that. And where do fish sticks stack up on your feelings chart? Behind the grouper and ahead of the sea sponge? Even if you enlist Flipper or Nemo as spokesfish, you got a public relations vacuum here. As my lovely wife Debi Ann says when making out the bills, while Annie the cat pads around on top of them: "There's helping and there's hindering." This is what you call your hindering.

ACLU By ACLUSponsored

Imagine you've forgotten once again the difference between a gorilla and a chimpanzee, so you do a quick Google image search of “gorilla." But instead of finding images of adorable animals, photos of a Black couple pop up.

Is this just a glitch in the algorithm? Or, is Google an ad company, not an information company, that's replicating the discrimination of the world it operates in? How can this discrimination be addressed and who is accountable for it?

“These platforms are encoded with racism," says UCLA professor and best-selling author of Algorithms of Oppression, Dr. Safiya Noble. “The logic is racist and sexist because it would allow for these kinds of false, misleading, kinds of results to come to the fore…There are unfortunately thousands of examples now of harm that comes from algorithmic discrimination."

On At Liberty this week, Dr. Noble joined us to discuss what she calls “algorithmic oppression," and what needs to be done to end this kind of bias and dismantle systemic racism in software, predictive analytics, search platforms, surveillance systems, and other technologies.

What you can do:
Take the pledge: Systemic Equality Agenda
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