My Family's First Gay Wedding

When my cousin, who's in his late 30's, got married, it seemed like everyone had a problem with it. He was marrying another man. I went to the wedding last week, I didn't have an issue with his marriage, but I admit I did have questions.

Who would wear white? Whose name is going to be on the invitations first? The more questions I asked, the more my mom thought I was being disrespectful. Most of the immediate family didn't want to go 'cause they thought it was odd. I thought they were being foolish for the reaction they were giving. It was funny and sad to see some of the rumors that were flowing and love lost over misdirected hate. A lot of the family said that they couldn't do it 'cause it was not legal, but my cousin was doing it anyway.

The day of the wedding was windy, so they had the ceremony indoors. Is was a pretty traditional wedding. As it turned out, neither of my cousin or his husband wore white. They both dressed in black suits. When it came time for the part when the bride is supposed to walk down the isle, my cousin started laughing, as did his partner. They walked together to the altar. The preacher was a woman. When it came time for the kissing part, they did the shoulder-pat-hug thing. When the preacher said, "You are now partners for life," they kept laughing. The whole wedding was only a half hour long. The reception party was a bit of a drag. Instead of throwing the bouquet or the garter belt thing to determine who's next, they threw a lei. At first is was just the women who went up and then my brother was trying to get me to go there, but I didn't want to. I really don't want to get married right now. But for my family, I went up there. I stood in the back, and luckily did not catch the lei.

All in all, it was a nice event. It was mostly family and my cousin is extremely respectful of his elders. When I think back, I don't think it would have been any different if he had married a woman.

They just recently had a baby shower – for their dog. Some people were like, "do I buy some thing or not?" These are all new family events for us. Everyone keeps building up whatever my cousin does as something big, like it's going to be some kind of freak show, and then when you get there its all normal. But that's like any family event – straight or gay – where the grown ups go and the kids stay home if they can't behave.

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