They Love Me, They Really Love Me

Well, imagine my surprise to get a personal letter from Dick Cheney.

"Dear Mr. Hightower," Dick began, "I write to invite you to join the President and Mrs. Bush for a private dinner here in Washington, D.C." Hey, I'm down for that -- there's a lot I'd like to say to George W! Dick goes on to say: "a special place of honor has already been reserved for you to recognize your steadfast support of President Bush."

Whoa, now -- that's when I got suspicious, because one thing I've definitely not been is a steadfast supporter of King George the W and his autocratic, plutocratic court of corporate greedheads. Maybe my "special place of honor" was to serve as the entree at Bush's dinner.

Whatever...Dick said I could get in for only $2,500. Due to a chronic shortfall in my bank account, however, I passed. But I know I would've enjoyed chit-chatting with CEOs and lobbyists for Chevron, Microsoft, Philip Morris, and other corporations that pitched in $250,000 apiece to mingle at George's golden gala. These corporate giants happen to have pending issues before the Bush White House -- but I'm sure this has nothing to do with their generosity.

A record $30 million was raised from these special interests, most of it in the form of notoriously corrupt "soft money." This is a bit ironic, since Bush signed a law banning such contributions only a few weeks ago. But, conveniently, he and the Democrats delayed implementation of the ban until after this fall's elections.

Still, Cheney's letter said that if I couldn't shell out for dinner, for only $150 I could get a set of three, limited-edition photos of the prez in action, including a candid shot of George aboard Air Force One talking to Cheney by phone on September 11. Now this really is ironic, for you'll recall that this was the day that George was afraid to return to Washington, instead hopping around the country on Air Force One and leaving Cheney in charge!

Now that's a picture worth a thousand words!


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