The Great Debate

Well, we weren't sure when it was going to happen, but our impending war with Iraq has finally risen to the noble heights of a reality TV show on Fox hosted by Playboy twins. Seizing the public relations initiative like the neck of a Kurdish bell boy, Saddam Hussein challenged George W Bush to a steel cage match with the two of them naked hurling sharpened shards of blue UN helmets at each other. No, I'm sorry, that's Tonya Harding and Peggy Noonan on the WB or something.

All Hussein wants is a face-to-face debate. Him and the Buhman. Mano a mano. (Cue Mohammed Ali's voice: "I want Joe Frazier.") With one simple stroke, the Iraqi Strongman has pried the preeminent propaganda position away from the President. But I think they might be misunderstimating our Commander-in-Chief again. Don't forget, this is the same trap Ann Richards and Al Gore eagerly climbed into and couldn't get out of.

And even though the Bush camp is chomping at the bit so hard you can hear the saliva splashing on the embroidered arrows in the eagle's claw on the Oval Office rug, knowing they'd wipe the semantic mat with the Butcher of Baghdad, the administration has respectfully declined. It's your typical incumbent Tyrannical Despot move. Never debate the challenging Tyrannical Despot while you're still ahead in the polls.

I expect the rest of the action from both sides will be straight out of the Tyrannical Despot Election Manual authored by Lee Atwater. Lies. Gross exaggerations of the other guy's record. Then some shambling shirtsleeve weapons destruction. Followed by attack ads. Although it does say in Chapter 4 that when your opponent ducks a debate, standard operating procedure dictates you hire somebody to dress up in a giant chicken costume and follow him around. And knowing Hussein, he'll rub it in, and have the guy in the chicken costume squawk in a French accent.

Will Durst can't wait for the season ending finale of this series: "I'm a Tyrannical Despot: Get Me the Hell Out of Here!"

Understand the importance of honest news ?

So do we.

The past year has been the most arduous of our lives. The Covid-19 pandemic continues to be catastrophic not only to our health - mental and physical - but also to the stability of millions of people. For all of us independent news organizations, it’s no exception.

We’ve covered everything thrown at us this past year and will continue to do so with your support. We’ve always understood the importance of calling out corruption, regardless of political affiliation.

We need your support in this difficult time. Every reader contribution, no matter the amount, makes a difference in allowing our newsroom to bring you the stories that matter, at a time when being informed is more important than ever. Invest with us.

Make a one-time contribution to Alternet All Access, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you.

Click to donate by check.

DonateDonate by credit card
Donate by Paypal

Don't Sit on the Sidelines of History. Join Alternet All Access and Go Ad-Free. Support Honest Journalism.