Durst: You Can't Make Stuff Up Like This

- Bush is working hard to build a consensus with the Democratic Senate. He's putting in 12- 14 hour weeks.

- If they were smart, capital punishment opponents would demand from now on that all death penalty cases be turned over to the FBI.

- Sony pictures announced the film reviewer from the Ridgefield Press, David Manning, who conveniently loved all their films, is fictional. Probably another creation from their extremely fertile accounting department.

- People, the permafrost is melting. The permafrost. Never in recorded history has the permafrost melted before. Hence its name. Not enough to worry about, now we have to rename the permafrost. I'm thinking "the frost formerly known as perma," or "often frosty?"

- After getting rid of Randy Johnson, Ken Griffey Jr and Alex Rodriguez in the last three years, the Seattle Mariners are leading the AL West by 16 and a half games. All they got to do is dump Edgar Martinez next year and they could go undefeated.

- The state of Utah has convicted a man of having 5 wives. I doubt the state is progressive enough to sentence him to doing the family's laundry for the next 15 years but it would make me laugh.

- Wouldn't want to be scheduled for a vacation in Jerusalem this summer. Of course it might be preferable to a stint as an intern at Gracie Mansion.

- Had to love Bush's commencement speech at Yale. "Hope for C students everywhere." Was expecting a paraphrase of his heart to heart with Jenna. "A beer is a terrible thing to waste." So is an honorary degree.

- The best part of Celine Dion signing a five year deal to sing in Vegas is the rest of the world is now a 60 month Celine free zone. Wonder if we can arrange for John Tesh to receive the same deal.

- Bush met with the Dali Lama. What a pair. One is totally out of touch with how the real world works and is mainly a figurehead and so is the other.

- The Senate is investigating profiteering on oil and gas. The important questions are: 1. Which oil companies are raking in huge profits? and 2. How big of contributors are they?

- The Jeffords defection has the rumor mill buzzing. Its even been rumored Gray Davis may declare himself a Democrat.

- Am I the only one in response to Al Sharpton's hunger strike thinking, "you know, if his demands aren't met for a couple of weeks the guy might be better off."

- Don't you think its a little too ironic the AARP appoints its executive director for life?

- The Supreme Court has cleared the way for Casey Martin to use a golf cart. Let's just hope he doesn't let John Daly drive.

- Some critics see Canada's attempt to decriminalize marijuana a lame attempt to encourage more people to sample the local cuisine.

- The third Jurassic Park movie features scientists visiting a group of dinosaurs and no, it has nothing to do with 60 Minutes.

Will Durst needs a golf cart to get from his front door to the driveway.

Enjoy this piece?

… then let us make a small request. AlterNet’s journalists work tirelessly to counter the traditional corporate media narrative. We’re here seven days a week, 365 days a year. And we’re proud to say that we’ve been bringing you the real, unfiltered news for 20 years—longer than any other progressive news site on the Internet.

It’s through the generosity of our supporters that we’re able to share with you all the underreported news you need to know. Independent journalism is increasingly imperiled; ads alone can’t pay our bills. AlterNet counts on readers like you to support our coverage. Did you enjoy content from David Cay Johnston, Common Dreams, Raw Story and Robert Reich? Opinion from Salon and Jim Hightower? Analysis by The Conversation? Then join the hundreds of readers who have supported AlterNet this year.

Every reader contribution, whatever the amount, makes a tremendous difference. Help ensure AlterNet remains independent long into the future. Support progressive journalism with a one-time contribution to AlterNet, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you. Click here to donate by check.

alternet logo

Tough Times

Demand honest news. Help support AlterNet and our mission to keep you informed during this crisis.