DURST: Janet Reno as Mickey?

- Why do I keep imagining a remake of the Sorcerer's Apprentice starring Janet Reno as Mickey Mouse and Microsoft as the broom?

- United Airlines pilots claim management is ignoring their contract demands. Didn't even know United was using flight attendants as negotiators.

- K-Mart is launching a webstore. Perfect for people who want the K-Mart values but want to avoid anyone seeing them shopping there.

- If Clinton gets disbarred in Arkansas will that be categorized as an example of community service?

- Every time I look for a current history of the Clinton Administration, I find myself directed to the "True Crime" section.

- Congress voted to normalize trade relations with China. I assume that's why the hard drives from Los Alamos were found behind the copier.

- CNN turned 20, having witnessed ugly unrest, heinious skirmishes and outright wars. And that was just board meetings with Ted and Jane.

- Let me get this straight. "Survivor" pits sixteen desperate individuals seeking big time riches by sleeping with rats and working to eliminate each other from contention. Sounds like a typical day in Hollywood.

- Charlton Heston was elected to a third term as head of the NRA. Celebrations were kept to a one clip salute.

Will Durst thinks the guy working Heston's torso strings is out of synch with the guy working his butt strings.

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