DURST: Unbelievable

You Can't Make Stuff Up Like This

- Atlanta Brave pitcher John Rocker said if he quit baseball, he might check out a career as a stockbroker. Yeah, I can see that. "Well then, I think our best move is to beef up your portfolio with some emerging stocks from one of those slanty eyed countries."

- Give Vince McMahon credit. He finally figured out how to put semi naked women into professional wrestling. And you got to admit, these wrestlers have similar acting skills as Steven Seagal.

- Why do I think both apparent Presidential nominees need to be constantly reminded that "domestic problems" do not mean Mother is arguing with the help again?

- There's two different kind of campaign consultants. The kind that give cab drivers big tips and tell them to vote for their candidate and the kind that give no tip at all and beg them to support the opponent.

- Don't think Al Gore is holding up too well. Lately he seems to be spending more time running for cover than running for President.

- You can't say Jon Corzine stole the New Jersey Democratic Senate nomination. Obviously the man paid cold hard cash for it.

- Gas prices in Chicago have risen to around $2.15 a gallon. Add that to the rising cost of housing and you have to ask yourself: how long before the Tokyo Chamber of Commerce starts recruiting people to enjoy their lower cost of living?

Will Durst would go in a minute if they would guarantee him a dish so he wouldn't miss any episodes of "Survivor."

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