DURST: The George W Quiz

In an attempt to narrow his search for a running mate, George W Bush is sending out background questionnaires to prospects. Due to my string of incredibly well placed inside sources, I am now able to leak portions of that questionnaire directly to you, with no hidden obligation on your part.

1. The most important quality I would bring to a national ticket is:

A. A fierce dedication to uphold the Constitution of the United States.
B. The electoral vote guarantee of an important swing state.
C. Respect and dignity.
D. Money. Lots and lots and lots of money.

2. Which of these statements is truest?

A. "Blood is thicker than oil."
B. "Oil is thicker than water."
C. "Blood is thicker than water."
D. "Oil and blood have approximately the same viscosity, but oil is easier to use as leverage."

3. The investment of portions of social security in the stock market is:

A. A good idea.
B. A great idea.
C. A great idea the public will come to trust after I've talked to them about it.
D. The worst idea since oyster flavored popsicles.

4. Please spell potato. Singular and plural.

5. True or false. Hunting is better than golfing.

6. Did you ever know or work with or have as a good friend, Jack Kennedy?

7. Jeb Bush's children are:

A. Black.
B. Red.
C. Brown.
D. Short.

8. Complete this statement. Women:

A. Should be seen barefoot and pregnant but not heard.
B. Are best served with lemon butter and capers.
C. Got to learn to relax for the inevitable.
D. Deserve to be executed just like normal people.

9. As an impressionable youth, I experimented with:

A. Pot.
B. Coke.
C. Acid.
D. Campaign Finance Reform.

Will Durst doubts anybody interesting could pass this test.

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