DURST: The 10 Commandments of Politics
Yeah, sure, I know, they're as different as snowflakes and each and every one of them is a beautiful creature of God with their own special qualities and animals love them. I'm talking about politicians. But as much as they are like us, they are different as well. With their own separate rules.
Rules which we normal people don't understand. But because I am not normal, I'm able to translate them for you.
The 10 Commandments of Politics.
I. You can't lose if the other guy doesn't have any money left.
II. There are no winners in politics. Only losers who haven't hit the Finish Line yet.
III. Its not cheating if you don't get caught.
IV. The best part of an election there is no best part of an election.
V. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever take a stand on social security unless you have to.
VI. You never have to.
VII. Deny. Deny. Deny. Even if they got tapes, deny. Especially if they got tapes, deny.
VIII. A good politician takes risks. A better politician takes chances. The best politician takes it up the ass and keeps smiling.
IX. Money isn't everything. Its the only thing.
X. When in doubt, make an incredibly vicious attack ad.
Will Durst doesn't make the rules, he just copies them off the bathroom walls.