DURST: Post Hippie Drugs

"One pill makes you smaller, and one pill makes you tall."

If there's one thing we baby boomers have seamlessly integrated into our generational personality, its drugs. Growing up, pot defined who was Us and who was Them. Not even denim was a bigger factor in determining the very fabric of our group identity. Acid and coke were just another dividing line for the adventurous, the pioneers and the poor souls who belatedly discovered they possessed a genome map including a cul de sac known as Substance Abuse Problem Way. Like liquor to the Greatest Generation.

"And the ones that Mother gives you, don't do anything at all." Well, now the ones that Mother gives you do indeed do many things at all. We post haste hippies still can sate our hunger for all things chemical, the difference being they're legal now. You got your Prozac family, probably responsible for saving the lives of more innocent bystanders than the Brady Bill.

Then of course, there's Viagra, of which the same could be said. The anti baldness drugs, Rogaine and Propetia, which allow a guy to get to the place where he can take the Viagra. And Olestra, which allows you to eat fat and not digest it. But for the life of me, I can't figure out which foods people would want to eat so badly, they'd be willing to risk one of the published side effects: anal leakage.

"Go ask Alice, when she's in the stall."

Will Durst likes his fat the old fashioned way.

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