DURST: Rush on Monday Night Football
The more I say you can't make stuff up like this, the truer it gets.
After relentlessly pursuing ABC on his daily radio show for weeks, Rush Limbaugh auditioned to become the new announcer on Monday Night Football. What a great idea. A stadium is much better suited to accommodating the ego of Jabba the Talk Show Host.
Saying that sharing has never been one of Rush's great strengths is a lot like suggesting brussel sprouts are probably not destined to be the next big fast food fad. However, if anybody is up to the task of co-announcing, I'm sure Al Michaels is the man. Michaels exemplifyied professional aplomb broadcasting during the World Series earthquake of 89, so he's obviously more than qualified to handle the chore of parrying with our nation's number one natural disaster of logic. I think Rush's Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloon Float has been blueprinted to be actual size.
They say Rush would bring back the kind of Monday Night passion viewers felt for Howard Cosell. No disrespect meant, but Boomer Esiason was sadly lacking in the fervor arena. The intensity of cold oatmeal. I'm just worried about Limbaugh being able to tamp down his convictions from one gig to the other. How long before a crucial contest between the San Francisco 49ers and the Washington Redskins is billboarded as: "And today's gridiron battle features the Commie Pinko Yellow Rat Bastard Femi-Nazis versus the Corrupt Thieving Lazy Moral Black-Holes. Lets see which of them fumbles more."
Will Durst wonders if they're going to give Dr. Laura Schlessinger a shot.