Walter Mitty's Fall Book List
April 26, 2000
Global Icing by Dr. Hugo Willner (Warmer Books) Bucking current environmental wisdom, a scientist maintains that gradual evaporation of polar ice-caps will cause an eventual drop of 1.1 degrees centigrade on the Earth's surface over the course of the next six million years. From the book: "Our descendants may well be a mite ... cooler than us. I ... wouldn't worry about it ... we'll all be long dead."The Fritos by David Kemmerman (Itty Brown) The epic story of the Frito family, founders of the Frito-Lay empire, from patriarch Emmanuel Frito (1879-1946) to current president and C.E.O. Dan Frito. Along the way we meet such notables as Leonard ("L.") Lay, Howard Cheeto, Robert Ruffles, and Pepe Tostito, discovering how the Frito family incorporated these snack kings' businesses into Frito-Lay. From the book: "Bob Ruffles was one tough customer ... Frito wanted the ridged chip on board so badly he could taste it, but Ruffles couldn't be budged."Your Friends Your Balls by Dr. Louisa Bellecourt (Simon & Simon) Dr. Bellecourt theorizes that good health rests on the condition of the balls of our feet, and proposes ways to care for them. From the book: "Dip the balls into a solution of hydrogen peroxide and baking soda. Note the bubbling action! Now your balls are clean as a whistle and ready to do their important work."Push Down and Turn ... to Corruption by Sarah Gallagher (St. Marvin's Press) Journalist Gallagher "blows the lid" on the push-down-and-turn childproof cap cartel with this expose, revealing a sordid history of white slavery, prostitution, drug running and murder. Includes the full story of the insurgency of the cartel's squeeze-and-pull-up splinter group. From the book: "Some people argued that patients with arthritis would have a hard time pushing down the caps ... these rebels were quickly 'dispatched,' their remains never found. So, the squeeze-and-pull-up movement was put on hold for now." My Name is Gary by Gary Victor (Alfred A. Knopfft) The autobiography of one of the researchers who was instrumental in developing ouchless bandages. From the book: "Well, we had quite a ways to go on the project. On occasion, and painless though it may have been, the bandage would tear hair off the arm, which naturally we didn't want. Little hairs on the bottom surface of the bandage were not what we were shooting for, if I may endeavor to be lighthearted here."Shut Up, Alan edited by Jennifer Worsack (Ed Norton) 25 noted Americans discuss why they feel omnipresent O.J. attorney and writer Alan Dershowitz should shut the hell up once and for all. From the book: "I am the founder and CEO of a Fortune 500 company, and I would like Mr. Dershowitz to know that I would pay him a considerable sum of money merely to keep his face off the TV and his yap shut for one full year."Cracker$ and Cookie$: The Nabisco Story by Steven Lowelyn (Tripleday) The story of the Nabisco cracker and cookie empire, founded in 1878 by Joseph A. Nabisco. Throughout the long history of the company such characters as Thomas Oreo, Alonzo Ritz, Theodore Premium, Lorna Doone and Jedidiah Triscuit threw in their fates with Nabisco; their work and contributions to the company are covered in detail by Lowelyn. Lowelyn's accounts of battles -- and, on occasion, illicit love affairs -- with other cracker/cookie titans (Melissa Sunshine, William Zesta, Julia Louise Hydrox, Vincent Krispy, et. al.) make this one of the most eagerly-anticipated non-fiction reads of the season. From the book: "Bill Nabisco was torn. He was desperately in love with Melissa Sunshine, but marrying her would be tantamount to getting in bed with a hated Keebler ... he would have to tell her, that's all."