The Spin Dr. of Love: What is the new men's movement?

I'm a man, and I m confused. What is the new men's movement?

The men's movement is a silent battle being forged by peaceful warriors. Their mission is to recover what it means to be a man, defeating stereotypes and traditional roles that have imprisoned men in recent times.

The problem the men's movement has is that its army is small. Too many men still scoff at the notion that manhood is more than hot-to-trot horn dogs in hot rods hounding hot babes. These men play the same old games passed down through the generations: games like hide your feelings, tough it out, kill or be killed, and he with the most toys wins.

The men's movement introduces a new game based on cooperation, not competition. If you want to sign up to be on the team, then you should be familiar with the movements basic principals.

Making the Cut:

To be a member on the M.M. (Men's Movement) team, a man must first recognize that his life is not working the way he thought it would according to how he was told it should. You see, men buy into the belief that if they get the right job, marry a pretty girl, settle down and have a family then they will be happy. The problem for many men is that after they acquire all those trophies, they're still restless and unfulfilled. They typically will numb their feelings of discontent further by accumulating even more symbols of masculinity; for example, more money, power or younger, prettier women. The more power they give to outside forces, the less empowered they feel and the more frustrated.

The players in the men's movement encourage men to stop looking outside themselves for happiness and turn inward to face their own emotional centers. Their strategy is to acknowledge and embrace cultural taboo feelings like fear, hurt, and anger. Psychiatrist Carl Jung referred to this process as facing your shadow, which really is all about looking closely at how and why you react to or ignore specific circumstances. To play with the boys on M.M., a man must desire self-awareness.


There are three exercises a man can practice daily if he is to gain self-awareness. These exercises are safe for arm-chair athletes.

1. Self Remembering - Cease all action. Stop all chaos.

2. Self Observation - Take note of your thoughts, feelings and actions without judgment or criticism.

3. Self Knowledge - Predict how you will react based on prior observations. By following this training regime, you will be able to base your decisions and actions on real feelings and not conditioned, habitual patterns.

The Huddle:

The men's movement is about sportsmanship and working within groups. In some groups they beat drums in a ceremonious fashion to connect with their more primitive selves. In other groups they simply exchange honesty and compassion with each other and for themselves. The group is not about trashing women, though admittedly that is why some men are first drawn to the men's movement. It is high fives. It is camaraderie. It is helping each other find the heart and soul of what it means to be a man.

The Opponent:

The greatest opposition to the men's movement is that it's for limp dick-whining-wimp-Phil Donahue types who can't make it in a man's world so they go in search of their female side. Macho men find the whole concept of a female half absurd, not to mention threatening. Women, who claim to want a more sensitive man, also give off mixed messages about not wanting men who are soft or weak.

The truth is this: The real tough guys are the ones who will abandon the image of manhood and stand before themselves looking the hero in the eyes.

To reach the Spin Dr. of Love line locally call (7020 789-2625. Out of the (702) area code call 800-322-9943. To fax your questions 7324-4572. Mail your questions and comments to Spin Dr. of Love, 316 California Ave., Ste # 210, Reno, NV 89509.

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