Studies Show Crack Counteracts Prozac High

"Drugs are here to stay," says former Drug Enforcement Agency operative Juanito Salazar, "because America is here to stay." Mr. Salazar, who worked under "deep cover" for most of his career with the DEA, has recently stepped forward to make public his experiences as an undercover agent. Juanito Salazar, born James Bo Hackett in Peoria, Ill., acted as a crucial relay between the DEA and America's biggest drug families for over 17 years, retiring only at the request of the Agency. Salazar, it seems, may have learned too much about the underground economy of the drug trade in America.In an exclusive interview with South to the Future's Aspen, Colo., correspondent Roberta Menchu, Salazar confessed to engaging in flagrantly criminal and, at times, even murderous behavior at the request of the DEA. "What I did, I did because D.C. wanted me to do it. Them guys [sic] with the suits and the ties know what I did just as well as I do." The activities Salazar refers to as his "black days with the DEA" include misinforming the press, eluding drug enforcement agencies in all 50 states, and collecting millions of dollars in bribes from drug manufacturers. In one instance, Salazar claims to have been present at a dinner party thrown on behalf of a major international drug dealer by a group of top-level Washington officials. "There were candles on the tables and no spoons in sight," says Salazar, who also admits to having a drug problem while working for the DEA.The most serious of Salazar's accusations places America's largest corporations at the center of a massive prescription drug ring; a circle of violent dealings large enough to encompass Americans of every race and socio-economic background: man, woman and child. Salazar claims that this nationwide conspiracy, while not apparent to all involved, is nonetheless responsible for most drug-related crime in the United States. "You're talking everything from car crashes to child abuse, embezzlement and adultery, even murders, mass-killings, etc." To those of us who have taken the drugs Salazar alludes to collectively as "Synth-Opium," the charges seem far-fetched if not downright seditious. For nearly two decades now, more and more Americans have been buying drugs like Prozac, Xanax, Melleril and Zoloft at their neighborhood pharmacy, and some have even had their own drug of choice prescribed to the family dog or cat. Despite this sustained 20-year surge in the consumption of socio-psychologically addictive drugs, not one scientific study has been able to correlate this massive increase in consumption with simultaneous increases in reported levels of depression, alienation, and, more tangentially, assisted-suicides.To South to the Future, Salazar and his ilk acutely represent what's wrong with today's generation. His total lack of respect for the American way ("A fool is born every minute" and "What you buy can't hurt you") is indicative of the fraying of this once great nation's moral fabric. This isn't Valium we're talking about, it's our right to choose how and why we check out of reality. It's about our constitutional right to avoid political and social realities and to endure their tragic effect upon our personal and interpersonal life with a pathetically ambivalent attitude. Why confront marital abuse, underemployment, sexism, a deleterious lack of public health care, and a rarefied history of segregation and colonization when you can simply "elevate" your mood, turn off the "bad feelings" and regain your "inner sense" of tranquillity? Who needs personal agency when licit drugs can now lend you a perm-press personality? As to Salazar's outlandish claims, the American Drug Enforcement Agency has refused comment.

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