Seven Habits of Highly Obsequious People
History documents that the only proven way to make money is to write books and give seminars on how to make money. It's quite likely that the great pyramids were actually part of a pyramid scheme that never got through the first level."Yeah look guys, just invest in this one and soon everyone is going to want one. Tents and huts are thing of the past. All you have to do is invest two camels and a few hours of your time and soon hundreds of people with hundreds of camels will be working for you while you relax in the comfort of your own private party barge on the Nile. "Of course this is just conjecture. In my four decades. I have seen latter day success gurus go from sensitivity training to assertiveness training and from networking to being the "lead dog." Lately the trend seems to have gone from creative thinking and paradigm shifting to the One Minute Manager and Seven Habits of Highly Officious People.The One Minute Manager appeals to the same people who are convinced that "quality time" will somehow make up ignoring the kids the rest of the day. In fact, many of us have had one minute managers years, but the old term for it was "slacker." "Seven Habits" stopped at seven because the author didn't want to be confused with a Letterman top 10 list. Either that or he read One Minute Manager first and decided to be a one minute writer. But mostly I really admire the guy, who in the age of computers, convinced everyone that they needed to carry around one of those giant planners that look like a cross between a bible and the Tokyo yellow pages. The last time I was in a meeting the guy at the head of the table opened it up and treated it with such reverence that I bowed my head because I thought he was gong to read from scripture as an opening prayer. In reality he was just checking his schedule to make sure he was in the right place on the right day.For us run of the mill humans, a giant Daytimer book is like an answering machine with flashing lights. When the light never flashes it just reminds you what a loser you are. You start counting your worth on how many messages you get and how many entries you have in your book.Besides, next to losing weight without dieting and exercise, "organizing your life with this book" is the biggest lie going around since American Motors tried to convince people that the Gremlin was a stylish car.You don't need to buy anything to get organized, be a one minute manager or the possessor of the seven holy habits. You can use tools commonly available in the home.For instance, refrigerator magnets actually give weight to more important objects. The largest documents usually gradually slide to the bottom or fall to the floor when the plastic magnetic piece of pizza is no longer able to handle the weight. This acts as a timely reminder to pay more attention to your largest documents.Another great way to get organized is to use the time honored toys of your youth. Writing on a slate chalk board is as close as you are going to get to actually writing something in stone; it's easy to erase, doesn't require a surge protector and Bill Gates holds no patents on it. If you don't have one of these try to find an old Etch-a-Sketch. Take one of these to your next boring meeting of choice and tell everyone that it is the latest in laptop computer technology.If this doesn't work, remember to use the time honored excuse for not being organized or on time. "My dog choked on my Daytimer and I had to attend the funeral."
