NORMA JEAN: Who Needs a Weekend Workshop Anyway?

Dear Norma Jean,I have many women in my life who lump me into the "friend" category. They come to me when their relationship with the jerk they're dating starts to suck worse than usual. I wish women could just dump these jerks 'sooner than later' and look at what's really important. Great people and healthy relationships aren't that hard to come by, one just has to open one's eyes, prioritize and stop trying to make it a chess game. If women could do this, "nice guys" like me might just be able to get a date in this city and wouldn't have to travel to a 'new age' place like Santa Fe and pay $395. dollars to hear common sense from a self-proclaimed expert! All you women who insist on getting beaten, stalked, cheated on, lied to, emotionally tortured and stolen from, might start to consider the nicer more balanced guy.Here are my Ten Free Tips for women to change their bad luck:1) People don't change much and bad character traits don't just go away.2) Color of hair or skin, weight, height, endowment, or clothing has nothing to do with the 'right-ness' of someone.3) No one is a "mind-reader". We need to communicate our feelings verbally.4) Men "friends" most likely find their women "friends" attractive.5)..Setting priorities like niceness, intelligence, thoughtfulness, sense of humor, faithfulness, reliability, ect., CAN BE sexually exciting and attractive.6) Never sleep with a man who doesn't even know you enough to like you yet.7) Men's operating systems are far more "basic" than a woman's. They have been known to lie to get what they want from a woman.8) A man doesn't ask a woman out that he isn't interested in physically.9) Half of what happens in any relationship is directly a woman's responsibility.10) Sex is not a weapon or tool of manipulation or control. Sex isn't "done" to somebody. Sex is an essential activity that expresses attraction, feelings, trust and all the other great things one should expect in a relationship.WOMEN SHOULD MAKE THESE STAEMENTS THEIR MANTRAS.I refuse to accept a man who attempts to change or control me or my lifestyle.I refuse to accept anyone who cannot hang with my friends.I refuse to be jerked around or stood up.I refuse to accept mental or physical abuse of any kind.I refuse to accept neglect or rudeness.I refuse to accept any form of jealousy.I refuse to accept infidelity of any kind.I refuse to live with chronic indecision, vacillation or confusion.I refuse to live with immoral, violent, or illegal behaviors I find offensive.I refuse to accept lame excuses for any of the above.From a man friend,JTADear JTA,I unfortunately know plenty of women who have, or are putting up with the bullshit you mention. High drama is often mistaken for love, as is the adrenaline rush of never knowing what is coming next mistaken for an aphrodisiac. I appreciate your advise and recommend all of us, no matter the 'gender', take courtesy and respect for others and apply it not only with our lovers but to everyone we know. Now that is the real challenge no?Thanks,

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