Norma Jean: What the Heck Is a Dominatrix?

Like a librarian in her ankle-length beige skirt, Diva Marie greets us at the Erotic Explorations Seminar and within moments stands up and strips down to a latex corset, bra and mid-thigh girdle. "Ah that's better" she sighs in relief, showing off. "My fetish is clothing."Her creamy skin, strawberry blonde hair and mischievous blue eyes are deceiving. This woman's a Domina, a Dominatrix, a Top, a Mistress, a wife and one hell of a good time.Clearly mesmerized by her charms and Ivory soap complexion, our fears like, "Is she going to whip or abuse one of the men that volunteered for the demonstrations?" or "What if I see someone I know?" were soon dispelled by her utter candid demeanor and childlike playfulness. We giggled, settling in for the trip into erotica as all areas of fantasy and sensuality became open to discussion.Diva Marie's joy for her profession as Dominatrix is apparent as she passes around course outlines and pens to take notes. Books, magazines, videos and a private bag of tricks are used for references. The strictly monogamous sexual relationship she shares with her husband is also evident. "An SMBD relationship is not abuse. My husband and I get closer every year of our marriage," she states."Sex is therapy," the Mistress admits. "Men have 'fetishes' while women have 'interest's. Men can get fixated on something they masturbated to between nine and 12 years of age. It sometimes holds for decades; mom's undergarments, shoes, a uniform, the governess/baby-sitter, spankings, etc. Women fantasize a wide variety of scenarios and are often more open to exploration. If you're lucky enough to meet someone and to express complete honesty about a private fantasy, sessions are really healing, and must always, without exception, be consensual and sane. Coaxing a partner is a completely different energy than baiting or begging someone to fulfill some fetish."The myth that bondage and domination is all about pain or one person beating another is quickly dispelled. "You take people only as far as they want to go and bring them up to high sensuality. It's about intimate connection, a kind of spiritual experience."Negotiating with a partner about parameters is essential. Using her husband and another volunteer, Ms. Marie demonstrates cock-and-ball torture; sounds hideous, but is hardly torture when witnessed. "Never tie any body part without scissors nearby," she laughs, waving her orange pair, "and never leave anyone tied up in a room alone."She had us clip clothespins on the skin between our thumb and index fingers the way a mother sprinkles milk from a bottle onto her forearm to determine its temperature; the message, "Treat people with great care."Tied spread eagle to a bed as we filed into the bedroom, our volunteer (what a fantasy, eh?) trembled. With soft lambskin whip in hand and one knee on the bed, Diva Marie petted our subject's inner thighs and chest reassuring him his safety. Laughing at the absurdity of it all, women cajoled him. "Uh," was all he could say. We roared.

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