NORMA JEAN: Real Men
[Ed. Note: Artwork must accompany column. Designed to your specifications at no cost by Missy Neal, Art Director.]Call 505-268-8111.Women call my office, complain at seminars, avoid parties and seem to feel that "men" are becoming extinct -- either lost to "New Age" practices, obsessive body piercing or are just wimps. Does anyone have a clue what a real man looks like? For me, Jeff Bridges in White Squall and Kevin Costner in The Bodyguard portrayed "real men." Though both are fictitious characters acting out written and directed parts, both Bridges and Costner embody the core of masculinity. They are strong, directed, have purpose and yet are capable of deep intimacy with the woman in their lives. Their mates are portrayed as sexy, radiant and alive.Men often accuse women of becoming too "hard," yet who is to blame? Many women are both a father and a mother to their children -- they duke it out in the workplace by day, cook and clean by night and are pursuing higher education to boot. All work and no play makes every woman a dull girl.The priority of the masculine core is mission, purpose and direction in life. The priority of the feminine core is the bow of love in intimacy.When a woman asks for "space" it could be because her man is becoming clingy and dependent, abandoning his primary purpose to bask in her aura, sexually addicted and needy. When once attracted to and relaxed by her man's clarity and presence, a woman can suddenly become the "bitch" -- nit-picky about trivial things that circumvent the core issue: "What happened to my man?" Men, wake up to the unconscious habits that take you away from your purpose on this planet and render women unsafe to be fully feminine (too much alcohol, procrastination, skirt chasing, TV, etc.). A female wants to trust a man with her life. If she cannot get this from him she starts developing her own "masculine" essence -- weight training, making all the decisions, handling the money, taking over child raising completely, Bi-curious ISO ... , etc. And it shows. Her face hardens, perhaps her body, too, wrinkles appear, harsh words come out of her tight lips as a result of not feeling full, not being able to surrender her heart to love. Chocolate, shopping, melancholy and gossip may become her priority, turning her man off, perhaps even repulsing him.Women say they want to be No.1, but they really want a man that is dedicated to divine growth and service, committed to his highest purpose -- and also to loving her fully. Good sex and a compliment in between a string of chores and obligations does not a "real" man make. Women want to feel radiant and attractive. Men provide the atmosphere for a woman to relax and take pleasure in being female. A man risks, what feels like death, by dissolving physical boundaries (through sex and commitment to purpose) to loving through her into ... the mystery of existence.Inspired by David Deida's newest book The Way of the Superior Man. To order, call (813) 824-7972.