NORMA JEAN: "No Sanity, No Stability, No Service"

[Note: Artwork must accompany column. Designed to your specifications at no cost by Missy Neal, Art Director. Call 505-268-8111.]Dearest Norma Jean,Of all the times I've read your column and felt the massive urge to respond, this is the one that did it! (Hurricane Watch). "Dr." David Deida, aside from being full of it, is a sellout, writing a book that only women and pathetic losers will pay money to read. Women now have a doctor-written permission slip to be crazed lunatics since it is the "mediocre man" that is the problem. Men, in addition to the regular crap we have to deal with, now have to be supermen every time a woman has a meltdown, and if we don't, we are the problem!?!When the women men care about (or try to care about) flip, good men try everything: logic, understanding, affection, humor and yes, even terror-driven flight -- and all this is rarely enough. Use logic, and you get more anger. Use understanding, and you get accused of being "patronizing." Use affection and you get "don't touch me!" Use humor and you get the "look of death." Walk away and you are a "coward." All these scenarios are the ultimate No-Win situation.Why exactly should we have to facilitate this kind of deranged behavior and absorb all the verbal abuse?!? This "fiery nature" of which you speak isn't what men are attracted to; it's what they are willing to put up with. The Bobbitts had an unpredictable relationship. Life is plenty exciting and stressful without having it amplified by women who micro-analyze and overreact to everything. And besides, even if you are (Deida's) so-called "superior man" and can deal with the extreme frailties of some women, they simply don't appreciate it. How many times do you hear, "I broke up with him; he was just too nice"?Many women want to be on an emotional roller coaster and expect men to deal with it on their terms. They want to hear, "It's okay, honey. It's my fault, and it's perfectly natural for you to be a raving psychopath right now." Uh huh. I think it's about time some women start growing up and be an equal partner before they start expecting men to be both halves of a relationship. If you prefer to read books that justify being nuts, have fun. In the meantime, the guys who would be strong enough to deal with female insanity are putting a "Do Not Disturb" sign on their hearts and are quietly enjoying a glass of Riesling, some chicken curry and a good movie -- alone. "No Sanity, No Stability, No Service". -- J.T.A.Dear J.T.A.,I love this letter and agree with you about not enabling rages, dumping and verbal abuses; but your reference to the Bobbitts' "unpredictable relationship", and its allusion to a woman becoming a danger to the male organ -- (please...) is the only weak and borderline hysterical moment of your letter. As for David Dieda, his work must be read in it's entirety. It is brilliant. I apologize for distilling chapters out of context and won't do it again. Get this book and read it yourself!Forgive me,[signature] Norma Jean Thompson

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