Norma Jean: La Vida
A female client says her phone conversations were incredible with one guy, speaking for hours each night. Upon meeting she felt attraction. A kiss after lunch encouraged her to anticipate future dates, yet a subsequent date never occurred. The man admitted she was not his physical type. It's a common scenario. But feeling that you won't live up to the expectations of others who place ads or taking offense if a person you meet doesn't fall head over heels is hogwash.OK, ladies, men can be visual and superficial about appearance, but so can women. Telling people what you look like without shaving years or pounds spares inevitable embarrassment. Men claiming to be handsome, or legends in their own minds, are often rather ordinary and flawed.I've always gone for swarthy, handsome Mediterranean types. My ad insisted "no facial hair, very tall, dark and young." People covet pictures engrained in their minds about the lump of love they wish to gaze upon and maul. My current boyfriend never looked at "larger-boned Dutch girls." His profile was: "younger, never over 5-foot, 3-inches, long dark hair, skinny."Speaking on the phone after connecting through Personals (how 'bout that!), we decided to transcend the physical hurdle of our dream types and adjust to the idea that we'd either barf upon meeting or maybe find each other reasonably acceptable. Those first moments were mildly shocking as we circled each other, making mental adjustments and small talk. The space between us shrank with the evening. Three days later, his mustache, white-blonde hair and weather-beaten face was gorgeous!When two people have a deeper attraction, an almost karmaic need to know each other, looks grow ever so pleasing. Singles place emphasis on the physical in their ads right down to eye color and hair volume, and it scares away the majority who might otherwise answer them.Ideal images shift as love and respect grow. I find myself looking at the blond older men now, (for sport of course). Because honesty is the hallmark of our union. He, too, confesses it's the taller, fairer females he now eyes. Nah, people don't die after soul-mating.Over ceviche and cerveza we giggle, pointing out to each other our preferred lovers walking along the beach, but our eyes keep finding each other like magnets. At one point he says, "Can you believe this all unraveled from a call to your ad?"As warm waves lap our ankles in Bara Navidad, Mexico, my man takes my hands and says, "I don't think I've ever been as in love with anyone as I am with you, I want to spend every day of my life with you. (mutual gulp) Will you marry me?" I said, "Yes."Kissing in the surf like young lovers, it's evident that two people 40-plus find romance even more delicious the third or fourth time around.Love isn't something one orders up like a pizza. "Long-legged redhead" means nothing if her soul doesn't resonate with yours. Sometimes one is mesmerized by the moves or speech; but mostly, real love's a subterranean thing orchestrated by the gods.