Sentence Fits the CrimeAs a condition of his probation after Darrell Meadows, 26, admitted threatening to kill his girlfriend and their daughter, Canton, Ga., Judge Clyde Gober sentenced Meadows to marry the woman within 45 days. After Dennis Cayse was convicted of drunk driving for the 18th time, Hillsboro, Ohio, Municipal Judge James Hapner gave Cayse 30 days to movewithin "easy walking distance" of a liquor store. The judge added that anytime Cayse rode in someone else's car he had to be handcuffed to the passenger-sidedoor or have someone else sit between him and the driver so he has no chance of grabbing the steering wheel.Term LimitPaul L. Russell, 73, easily won re-election to the Franklinville, N.Y., TownBoard in last November's voting, even though he died of a heart attack three days before the balloting.More TV TroubleJames Shivers, 60, told St. Louis police he killed his son for blocking hisview of the television set. Shivers explained he was trying to watch the Holiday Bowl football game when Tony Shivers, 26, deliberately stood in front of the screen. Shivers fired a pistol at Tony but missed. After a brief scuffle, Tony grabbed the gun and began beating James with it until it brokeapart. James then went and got a shotgun from a closet and shot his son twice. Police in Manassas, Va., charged Dennis Thornsbury, 53, with firing severalshots at his ex-wife on New Year's Day after he became angry because "the TV set didn't work."Twisted HighwayThe Mississippi Senate voted to name part of state Highway 17 for convicted murderer Charles Manson because of a typographical error. They meant to name it after Bishop Charles Harrison Mason, founder of the Church of God in Christ. State Sen. Travis Little noticed the mix-up before the governor signed the bill.Whipped into ShapeJust before he died last September, rice diet doctor Walter Kempner, 94, admitted whipping patients who didn't stick to the no-salt, no-fat regimen of rice and fruit that he prescribed. "I was what one called strange," Kempnersaid in a death bed deposition, although he denied charges by former patient Sharon Ryan that he turned her into his "virtual sex slave" for 20 years. Ryan's lawsuit, filed in 1993, claimed that shortly after she came to Kempner's Duke University clinic to lose weight in 1970, the doctor reprimanded her for gaining weight, ordered her to remove her clothes and whipped her with a riding crop.When Good Goes BadPolice Capt. Richard Pimental of Taunton, Mass., whose crime watch program on local cable television brought him national recognition as the tough-talking "Captain Good," was charged with trying to hustle free drinks, steal a gun and rig a case against his nephew. Radawna Michelle, 31, who coordinated crime prevention programs at Arizona State University, was charged with taking compact disks and money from a campus office.Strange BedfellowsParaguay's ruling Colorado Party failed to endorse its own incumbent president for reelection, voting instead to back the exiled general who tried to overthrow the government in a 1996 coup d'etat. President Juan CarlosWasmosy is the country's first democratically elected leader, but General Lino Oviedo, who fled to Brazil after his coup failed, has gained support byopposing Paraguay's efforts to join the world market.Flying Is a GambleSwiss air has installed video gambling machines at seats on long-distance flights except those to and from the United States. Passengers can bet between 25 cents and a dollar. They can lose no more than $200, and winnings arelimited to $3,500. "We've found that gambling is about as popular as movies and music," airline spokesperson Ulrich Wohn said. "We're offering lotto, keno and slots because they have a short learning curve."Nearer My God to TheeWhen a poll by the London Sunday Times found that only 34 percent of 200 Anglican priests surveyed could name all of the Ten Commandments, church officials defended the priests by noting it is substance that matters, not the actual words. A jury in Sanford, Fla., convicted former television evangelist GeorgeCrossley, 56, of trying to hire a hitman to kill his arch rival, George"Butch" Waldo. Crossley, who admitted having an extramarital affair withWaldo's estranged wife, hired a government undercover agent to "do something about" Waldo.Not Exactly Disney WorldAfter losing its railroad tracks, two grain elevators and its fuel dealer,the Canadian village of Torrington, Alberta, is attempting to survive economically by luring visitors to the world's first museum dedicated to theone thing the area still has in abundance: gophers. The museum's mainattraction is 67 stuffed rodents dressed up as people.Role ModelsA month after Daniel F. Devlin, 51, lost his bid for reelection as mayor of Darby, Pa., he was charged with robbing a bank of $1,500 by telling a teller he had a bomb. Craig S. Johnson, 41, the mayor of Snow Hill, Md., was charged withmisconduct for allowing a woman to pose naked on the top of a sheriff's squadcar assigned to him. The mayor, who also worked as a deputy sheriff,reportedly contacted the operator of a pornographic Internet web site and offered to help do the photos as a "prank" since he was leaving the sheriff's department. Local high school students found the pictures on the web site.Felonious FriendshipsChicago police superintendent Matt Rodriguez announced he was quitting after the Chicago Tribune reported that he was friends with a man convicted of mailfraud and income tax evasion. Days later, Washington, D.C., police chief Larry Soulsby stepped down after his ex-roommate was charged with embezzlement and extortion.Survey SaysNearly half the Germans surveyed by the Emnid Institute said networktelevision doesn't show enough pornography. Networks already air graphicmovies and sex-talk shows late at night, but 48 percent of the viewers surveyed said they would like to see more porn. According to TV Today magazine, which commissioned the survey, "The last taboo has fallen."Compiled by Roland Sweet from the nation's press. Send clippings, citingsource and date, to POB 8130, Alexandria VA 22306. Fans of quirky news willenjoy the newest collection, "More Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest" by John J. Kohut &Roland Sweet (Plume paperback).