Wrong Arm of the LawWhen police were unable to get anyone to answer the door so they could execute a search warrant at a London address, Constable Dean Cunnington borrowed a mail carrier's uniform hoping to fool the occupants. Donning his disguise, Cunnington approached the door to the building and knocked. According to the Guardian newspaper, when a voice inside asked who was there, Cunnington answered without hesitation, "It's the police." Bobby Whipple, 27, covered his hand with a dark sock to work on his car in Miami, but at least two people called police to report he was wielding a gun. Fourteen police officers responded, surrounded Whipple and demanded he put down his "weapon." When he failed to comply, five officers opened fire. Whipple was hospitalized in good condition. "Witnesses said that he had a gun, and the officers assumed they were correct," Metro-Dade police spokesperson Pat Brickman explained. "He took the position of an aggressive stance."Expect to Be Billed for Headlock TimeIn Fort Lauderdale, Fla., perjury defendant Mark Gusow fired his attorney because he didn't like the way she was handling his case. Attorney Laura Morrison responded by inviting her client to step outside the courtroom. There, the 52-year-old, 150-pound Morrison grabbed Gusow -- 36 years, 140 pounds -- in a headlock, scratched his face and blocked his way when he tried to break free. "She went bananas when I told her I wanted her off my case," Gusow said. "You never expect to be attacked by your own lawyer in the courthouse."Guns Don't Kill PeopleFormer police officer John MacWillie, 77, and his wife Phyllis were driving in Huntington Beach, Calif., when two men in a black car pulled up on the right and stared at them. Feeling threatened, MacWillie pulled out his gun from under the seat and waved it at the men to scare them. According to police Lt. Dan Johnson, the gun accidentally fired, shooting Phyllis once in the head and killing her.The Last WordCloning humans would not result in duplicate souls, according to a special panel that Pope John Paul II formed to investigate the issue. The Pontifical Academy of Life ruled that only God can create a soul. Curses, Foiled AgainHalf an hour after a woman robbed a Texas Commerce Bank, police officer Joe Aldaco stopped Kerri V. Goode for driving 73 mph in a 60-mph zone. While asking Goode for her driver's license, Aldaco noticed a bank envelope with a large amount of cash on the front seat. When he asked her about it, he said she told him, "It's mine. I just robbed a bank." A burglar trying to steal an 800-pound safe from Chico's Lounge in Wood River, Ill., lost his finger when the safe fell on his hand. Police investigating the break-in found the finger and, after checking with area hospitals, arrested Cary Rider, 43.Way to GoA French court in Avignon sentenced Jean-Marc Giordano, 32, to three years in jail for killing five of his neighbors when he tried to commit suicide by turning on the gas in his apartment but instead blew up the building. He was the only survivor of the explosion.Police investigating reports of an intruder in an empty apartment in Bradford, England, found Michael McNamara, 37, pinned at the waist in a 6-inch gap between a wooden door and its frame. They said he told them he had broken into the empty apartment two days earlier and become trapped when a piece of wood fell behind the door, jamming it almost shut. McNamara died within a half-hour of his release.Over-ReactionsAfter a Saudi woman donated an eye to restore her husband's sight, the man left her for another woman. According to the newspaper Al-Jazirah, the man explained he couldn't stand the sight of his one-eyed wife. When a man's fiancee eloped with another man in the Philippines, the jilted man's relatives attacked the woman's village of Kalang Sukuban with mortars and machine guns, killing at least 12 people and wounding another 17. The attackers also took four girls from the village with them as hostages. Government in ActionWhen surveyor Edward Fillion Jr. retired from the Plympton, Mass., Highway Department in May, he left the town with no tools to take care of its 39 miles of roads, parks and cemeteries. All the hammers, saws, drills, welders, cutting torches, shovels and other tools were his personal property. Fillion said he offered to sell the town of 2,700 residents the tools for only $6,000, but town officials told him he would first have to take a complete inventory down to every nail and screw, then they would have to solicit competitive bids . He said forget it and immediately sold about half his tools elsewhere. He did leave behind some shovels and rakes, but he sold the barn where the department stored the tools because he owned that, too. Meanwhile, the town faced having to spend at least $10,000 to buy new tools. Bill Fussell, the tax collector for Lee County, Fla., instituted a summer dress code for his 175 employees that bans cotton clothing below the waist and anything that shows a woman's thigh or "excessive" cleavage. Women must also wear pantyhose. "They have now eliminated half of our wardrobe," one female employee said. "There is major turmoil. We live in a tropical climate."Designated Driver of the WeekThomas Pistorino, 30, came to a New Jersey hospital saying a friend had assaulted him. He was treated and released a few hours later. Because Pistorino had been intoxicated when he arrived, the hospital gave him money for a taxi home, but the cab driver refused to take him. Edgewater police Lt. Robert Bailey said Pistorino then walked to a nearby restaurant, stole a 1983 Lincoln and headed home. Along the way, he sideswiped four parked cars, totaling the last car he hit and disabling the Lincoln. By now police had caught up to him and gave him a blood test that determined he was still intoxicated.Compiled by Roland Sweet from the nation's press. Send clippings, citing source and date, to POB 8130, Alexandria VA 22306.