WHO'S COUNTING?When boxers Roy Bohannon and Jerry Smith ended their scheduled four-round bout in Nashville, Tenn., Smith insisted they still had two more rounds to fight. Referee Billy Collins asked promoters Robert Moore and G.L. Van Horne to settle the matter. Moore said the fight was supposed to go six rounds, Van Horne said four. After some discussion, they agreed the bout would continue.Before the fifth round, however, Smith charged Bohannon and began throwing punches. Bohannon's father, who manages his son, jumped into the ring to separate the fighters, followed by Smith's corner men. The Tennessean newspaper reported that the brawling began when Collins punched the senior Bohannon. "I've been to a lot of fights," one police officer told the paper, "but that's the first time I've seen a referee throw the first punch."ON THE ROADAfter Claude and Mary Carter left their home in Charlottesville, Va., to drive to a nearby restaurant for dinner, they got lost. Seven hours later, they wound up hundreds of miles away in downtown Washington, D.C. "The furthest they normally drive is up the street to church or to the Food Lion," said the couple's son, Paul Carter.In Washington, driver Claude Carter, 86, collected four traffic tickets within eight minutes -- three of them from the same officer in separate incidents, including letting the car roll into a police cruiser. Their trek ended around 1 a.m. when they ran out of gas near a marina. Claude got out of the car to ask a police officer for help, but he forgot to put it in park. It rolled down an embankment and plunged into the Anacostia River with Mary Carter, 79, still in it. Officers managed to rescue her.TREES COMPANYTo discourage illegal logging in northern Thailand, Buddhists ordained 50 million trees in February, wrapping them in orange robes usually worn by monks. "It is a ritual to connect people's minds with nature," said monk Phra Somkid Jaranadhammo, explaining that the religious ordination of trees should make outlaw loggers think twice before cutting down the sacred trees.In the Japanese town of Tadami, the Tamokaku company is trading trees for used books. With high land prices driving used bookstores out of business and little storage room in homes, customers have been turning in thousands of volumes a day in exchange for forestland, other books or overnight stays at local inns. A customer who turns in 6,000 to 9,000 hard covers gets a deed to 300 tsubo, roughly a quarter-acre, of forestland and is entitled to fish, pick berries, hike or camp on the company's 310 acres.NUDE BEHAVIORA naked man walked into a convenience store in Portland, Maine, during a snowstorm and headed for the beer cooler, wielding a 3-foot, double-edged sword that he raised and pointed at the store clerk's chest. "I'm thirsty," the man told the clerk, according to police Lt. Nelson Bartley. As the clerk backed away and called police, the naked customer left without taking anything. Bartley said police caught up with Michael L. Hicks, 29, a few blocks from the store, arrested him without a struggle and warned him "not to go back to that address again -- whether he has clothes on or not."Police in Chatsworth, Calif., arrested Ilham Affane, 24, after she was found nude inside a church. Officers summoned by neighbors who reported hearing noises inside the church found Affane completely nude, jumping up and down on the pews, screaming, throwing Bibles around and "generally acting in a bizarre manner," Los Angeles Police Department spokesperson Mike Partain said.DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DOMaj. Manuel de Jesus Lozada, the deputy director of Colombia's elite anti-kidnap squad, was arrested and charged with abducting two people.DEMOCRACY IN ACTIONIn Pottawatomie County, Kan., none of the 327 eligible voters showed up to vote in the Rock Creek School Board election, not even candidate Mike Sotelo, who was running unopposed. "I can't explain it," County Clerk Susan Figge said, although some officials speculated that voters were not aware of the election -- and those who were may have been confused because the polling place had been moved.FINDERS KEEPERSReal estate investor Paul Peskin, 30, was looking over an abandoned bank in Richmond Hill, Ga., when he found a package of bills in an open vault. He slipped the money in his pocket, not knowing it was a decoy that tellers give to bank robbers. It exploded, covering him in red dye and an irritant like tear gas. Peskin ran outside to the truck he had borrowed from a friend, who moonlights as a clown, and put on a clown suit to keep the truck clean. The dye apparently irritated Peskin so much that he jumped out of the truck and ran toward First Bank of Coastal Georgia, where bank employees, seeing a man in a clown suit covered with red dye running at them, alerted police to a possible robbery. After listening to Peskin's story, Police Chief Billy Reynolds said no charges were filed, adding, "Nothing this unusual has ever occurred that I can remember."SURE BEATS A HOME EQUITY LOANAfter the Environmental Protection Agency set aside $50 million to clean up more than 1,000 homes along Mississippi's Gulf Coast that had been contaminated by methyl parathion, a cotton-field pesticide that can kill people when used indoors, Louisiana Agriculture Secretary Bob Odom accused some residents of his state of deliberately spraying their homes with the pesticide to try to get the federal government to pay for their renovation.DOUBLE TROUBLECroatian twins Branko and Ivan Uhiltil, both 57, of Lipovljani committed suicide without the other knowing. The newspaper Vecernji List reported that Branko hanged himself at his house, and two hours later Ivan shot himself in his apartment. Authorities found no reason for either suicide.SATAN JUNIORIn Indianapolis, Joseph Garner, 37, was convicted of stabbing his father about 200 times with a Swiss army knife, dismembering the body and eating part of the brain. The younger Garner insisted Paul Garner, 76, was the devil and said he killed him to release spirits from his body. Compiled by Roland Sweet from the nation's press. Send clippings, citing source and date, to POB 8130, Alexandria VA 22306.