Last Kisses

With all my psychic ability I've never been able to say to myself, "This is the last time I'll kiss this person." The memory of whatever last kiss you have with someone is usually faded by the circumstances which ensue that cause it to be the last kiss.Although many times breakups can be beneficial to the parties involved in the relationship, it oftentimes involves so many other issues that you forget about the last passionate moment the two of you shared. Commonly, you wind up wondering how you had any sort of feelings at all for someone with whom you've recently departed.Granted, there can be foreseen circumstances which may permit you to recognize a last kiss. If one of you is moving away and you know it's goodbye, as sad as it may be, you can experience that last moment of zest knowing that it will never happen again. Then, you can make it a point of remembering the moment.The fantasy we all exhort as the perfect scenario for the last kiss is the one after the relationship is over. The relationship that you never wanted to end, but it ended in an environment that you had no control over. So, in your mind you express the desire for one final moment. One last experience to remember it all by.It sounds so grand to dream about, but it's a dream that's rarely expressed to the other person. For fear of sounding like a beggar or for fear of the further rejection when we're turned down, it forever remains a fantasy in our minds. A fantasy whose reality would be far less substantial when it forces you to realize, "This is the last time I'll kiss this person." Why destroy a fantasy like that?Yet, how can the last of anything be viewed as the best. No one wants good things to end and if you know it's the last time you'll ever kiss someone how can you find happiness and joy in that moment of utter sadness for the sake of the pleasure that you are losing?Perhaps, one route to take would be to avoid it all together. Conceivably, the best last kiss is the one that never happens: that last kiss with someone you care a great deal for that you never allow yourself to experience because you don't want to let go of it all. It's the kiss that you play out over and over in your mind. The kiss that can't possibly bring joy in its conclusion because it would pronounce the end of a history with someone. And that history is something you may never want to end; with the exception being if you were the one desiring the end of the relationship and in that case you probably long for nothing more with that person, especially something as soulful as a kiss.The best last kiss is truly the one that never happens, for what good is there in confusing the sadness of the loss with the pleasure of a kiss?Part 2: Kiki Dakota When I know it's the last one, I make it good. I want to make sure that the last kiss is both intense and ambiguous. I want him to remember the kiss with doubt and wonder. I want him to, seemingly out of the blue, months or years later, ponder just what that last heroic au revoir meant. Can a last kiss send your doughboy off to win the war? Can a last kiss sentence an ex to a lifetime of middle class mediocrity and gnawing contempt for life? You bet. It's all in the technique. Tenuous but persistent forces of passion will leave them questioning just what that sweet pucker was intended to mean.Some kisses say, "fin." They are the checked item on life's clipboard. Done. Belongings divided. Arrangements made for divvying up the last long distance bill. His plaid sofa out of the living room. "See ya. Bye." These kisses leave little doubt that the whole thing - whether for an evening or for years - is now toast. Only slightly topping the "fin" kiss is the "next!" kiss. Hey, the meter's running.Following those most extreme kisses are the range of kisses that hint, "you'll be back," (and they always are, somehow). I'm sure it pains guys to know that we know them well enough to know that they will come crawling back at some point. Modernity has also given us the new blow-off kiss, the "E-mail me, babe" kiss. It means, "stay in touch, but at a distance."The gentle rising and swelling last kiss says, "please come back." With a little pressure, it conveys "come back soon!" Those kisses are nice for newly acquired out of town boyfriends, none-too-clever surfer boys, and seekers of the gods. Especially when the kiss is accompanied by one's real phone number, a last kiss of this caliber gets repeat performances, making it a penultimate kiss, which sounds wholly unromantic. These are the kisses of the good one-night stands of our lives.Last kisses are like sunset on the beach. The tides swell. The gulls cry and the sand fleas remind the ankles that even in a perfect world there's a little scratching. The winds cool and the golden orb reclines into the rolling waves. There will be another one tomorrow, but this one seems like the only one in all eternity. That sort of last kiss -- the motion picture last kiss -- we commonly gloss over as emotionalism.And some last kisses are like the last day of vacation, when work seems like the fake life and vacation seems like the real one. The anticipation of tomorrow's normal routine juxtaposed against the sublime hanging on to the last few hours before resuming the mad dash of life hangs in the air, again creating a sense of timelessness.Last kisses linger in a scent, a glimmer, a memory or just a possibility. Unlike a first kiss, a last kiss haunts the recesses of the soul. Warm moist tongue against warm moist tongue, we dance the swelling waves of tide and parting.


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