HIGHTOWER: Bank Robber Follies

It's time to probe once again into the deep, dark recesses of the criminal mind. In today's analysis we look at the mind of the bank robber.USA Today has chronicled several recent robberies and finds that instead of devious minds, many of these people seem to be powered by single-digit IQs. Like David Hindmarsh, who tried to rob a Ft. Lauderdale bank. The teller asked him to please wait a moment, then stepped away, presumably to get the loot. Hindmarsh waited patiently. And waited. And waited. Twenty minutes later, the teller returned, handed him $1,500 in a bag, he walked out the door and, of course, was greeted by a bevy of cops.There is the classic stick-em-up ploy of the more gentle robbers who pretend to have a gun in their jacket pocket, but it's really just their forefinger and thumb extended to look like a gun. Mr. Stephen King employed this tried-and-true trick in a California hold-up, but it went sour. He forgot to keep his hand in his pocket.Some robbers go from cocky to cockamamie, like Army Private Daniel Bowden who robbed his own bank without wearing a mask, then came back later to the very same teller and tried to deposit the very same stolen bills into his own account.Here's one that USA Today won't vouch actually happened, but it's too good not to tell: A robber went to a Bank of America branch, but there was a long line, so he took his hold-up note across the street to Wells Fargo. No can do, the teller there told him, explaining that Wells Fargo couldn't accept a note written on a Bank of America deposit slip. He was told to go back across the street with it, which he did ... and was arrested.My favorite though occurred in Norristown, Pennsylvania, where a robber strode into a bank, showed his gun and said: "Give me all your brains or I'll blow your money out!"This is Jim Hightower saying ... I guess he knew what he really needed. To keep up with these bank-robber follies, check this website: www.dumbcrooks.com.

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