DURST: You Can't Make Stuff Up Like This II

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Where the biggest difference between the lobbyists and politicians is the lobbyists are accountable to the people who put them here.* The people under the most stress over this Iraq thing have to be CNN. In the event of war, they'll have less than an hour to compose a theme song.* Now that Bill Clinton has his line item veto, we are witnessing the unheard of spectacle of a Democrat cutting the budget and Republicans complaining about it.* I love the sight of a two ton bag of hot air floating down Broadway.* It either means Thanksgiving or Rush Limbaugh is taking a stroll.* Al Gore hired himself some defense attorneys, which means he's trying to look as Presidential as possible.* Michael Jordan is from Mars. Dennis Rodman is from Venus.* I expect the next crisis on Mir will be an announcement the hamster died.* If they ever build a Jesse Helms monument they should put it right in the middle of the Capitol Rotunda so it blocks everybody.* Bill Clinton is most worried about the bizarre pattern of storm and high pressure known as the El Reno Effect.* Ken Burns' new PBS miniseries focused on "Lewis and Clark", but what he didn't tell you was Lewis was the guy who coined the expression, "are we there yet?" Or was it Clark?* I understand Pete Wilson's next pseudo populist push will be to free us from the tyranny of having our monetary system tied to Arabic Numerals. And is the Super Bowl's reliance on Roman Numerals the clue to a worldwide papist plot?Will Durst is nine letters.


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