Durst: You Can't Make Stuff Up Like This

Now, Michael Jackson wants to move to Scotland. I'm not sure thisguy should be allowed to move to a country where little boys wear skirts.Sarah Fergusen has signed a contract to be spokesperson for WeightWatchers, based apparently on her experience of shedding the dead weight ofEnglish Royalty.America On Line is being sued by a group of subscribers since itinstituted its new $19.95 a month for unlimited busy signals. Anheuser Busch dropped the Budweiser frogs after complaints thatthe ad campaign appealed to children. I suppose they're going to bereplaced by a rag tag mob of tiny purple dinsoaurs. They moved the State of the Union address from February 5th, toFebruary 4th so it wouldn't interfere with the Miss Universe Pageant. Iguess they're afraid America wouldn't be satisfied watching just one boob.Noted scientists claim the universe will disintegrate in 30 billionyears. Which obviously won't affect most of us. Except those still hangingon for AOL technical support.A book of Hillary Clinton quotes is due soon. Don't know what thetitle will be: "It Takes A Subpoena." or "The Shredder is Mightier Than TheSword" are my suggestions.Will Durst says it is better to lose the American Comedy Awards for aseventh time than not to.

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