Durst: You Can't Make Stuff Up Like This

- Doctors in LA have voted to unionize, leading to the specter of severely unintelligible picket signs.- The brightside of military secrets stolen by China: They're now paying $600 for hammers and $2000 for a toilet seat. Maybe we'll bankrupt them.- How come thoroughbreds don't get shoe contracts?- At least Hillary can claim to be one of the few women in DC not involved in a sex scandal with her husband. No truth to the rumor she's setting up a Westchester County chapter of Parents Without Partners.- Scientists released a study suggesting cancer to be a leading cause of death in spiders. I would hazard second only to the shoe.- Dan Quayle is attacking lawyers for advancing needless litigation and thinks offending counselors should be sued.- Its a shame the Russians are abandoning the Mir Space Station right after updating to Windows 58.- On his Pacific Rim tour, Clinton is consoling East Timorese refugees. I guess he can relate to people no longer welcome in their homeland.- A recent American Airlines crew fell asleep during a flight. What they need to do is outfit the cockpit with coach seats. Just as insurance.- Looking forward to the advent of Digital TV, when we'll clearly be able to see there's nothing on. Will Durst is positive he will be part of the nothing on. Only clothed.

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