Durst: You Can't Make Stuff Up Like This

- Doctors in LA have voted to unionize, leading to the specter of severely unintelligible picket signs.- The brightside of military secrets stolen by China: They're now paying $600 for hammers and $2000 for a toilet seat. Maybe we'll bankrupt them.- How come thoroughbreds don't get shoe contracts?- At least Hillary can claim to be one of the few women in DC not involved in a sex scandal with her husband. No truth to the rumor she's setting up a Westchester County chapter of Parents Without Partners.- Scientists released a study suggesting cancer to be a leading cause of death in spiders. I would hazard second only to the shoe.- Dan Quayle is attacking lawyers for advancing needless litigation and thinks offending counselors should be sued.- Its a shame the Russians are abandoning the Mir Space Station right after updating to Windows 58.- On his Pacific Rim tour, Clinton is consoling East Timorese refugees. I guess he can relate to people no longer welcome in their homeland.- A recent American Airlines crew fell asleep during a flight. What they need to do is outfit the cockpit with coach seats. Just as insurance.- Looking forward to the advent of Digital TV, when we'll clearly be able to see there's nothing on. Will Durst is positive he will be part of the nothing on. Only clothed.

Enjoy this piece?

… then let us make a small request. AlterNet’s journalists work tirelessly to counter the traditional corporate media narrative. We’re here seven days a week, 365 days a year. And we’re proud to say that we’ve been bringing you the real, unfiltered news for 20 years—longer than any other progressive news site on the Internet.

It’s through the generosity of our supporters that we’re able to share with you all the underreported news you need to know. Independent journalism is increasingly imperiled; ads alone can’t pay our bills. AlterNet counts on readers like you to support our coverage. Did you enjoy content from David Cay Johnston, Common Dreams, Raw Story and Robert Reich? Opinion from Salon and Jim Hightower? Analysis by The Conversation? Then join the hundreds of readers who have supported AlterNet this year.

Every reader contribution, whatever the amount, makes a tremendous difference. Help ensure AlterNet remains independent long into the future. Support progressive journalism with a one-time contribution to AlterNet, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you. Click here to donate by check.

alternet logo

Tough Times

Demand honest news. Help support AlterNet and our mission to keep you informed during this crisis.