Durst: You Can't Make Stuff Up Like This

-- Jesse Ventura refereed at a recent WCW event. There was a bit of a protest from some of the wrestlers who thought the presence of a politician would cheapen the sport.-- If Al Gore falls in a primary race, does he make a sound?-- Why is it, the biggest outcries against same sex marriage always come from places attempting to uphold the sacred bond between a man and his cousin?-- An appeals court ruled New London, Connecticut officials were justified in rejecting a man for a position as a peace officer because he scored too highly on intelligence tests. Can't have a cop craving croissants now can we? Must have the same restrictions in place for politicians. Its the only answer.-- Newt Gingrich reached a divorce agreement with his second wife, after the disclosure of his relationship with a 33 year old Congressional aide. Guess those family values he keeps talking about are based on Caligula's family.-- In Maryland, doctors removed half a girl's brain, turning her into ... a boy?-- Don't think boomers are getting older? Elton John just had a pacemaker implanted. He still has hair covering his ears, but now its sprouting from the inside.-- Some Welsh professor claims Robin Hood was gay. Going to have to change the whole adage to "stole from the rich and gave to the artistic."Will Durst now knows why his band of men were so merry.

Enjoy this piece?

… then let us make a small request. AlterNet’s journalists work tirelessly to counter the traditional corporate media narrative. We’re here seven days a week, 365 days a year. And we’re proud to say that we’ve been bringing you the real, unfiltered news for 20 years—longer than any other progressive news site on the Internet.

It’s through the generosity of our supporters that we’re able to share with you all the underreported news you need to know. Independent journalism is increasingly imperiled; ads alone can’t pay our bills. AlterNet counts on readers like you to support our coverage. Did you enjoy content from David Cay Johnston, Common Dreams, Raw Story and Robert Reich? Opinion from Salon and Jim Hightower? Analysis by The Conversation? Then join the hundreds of readers who have supported AlterNet this year.

Every reader contribution, whatever the amount, makes a tremendous difference. Help ensure AlterNet remains independent long into the future. Support progressive journalism with a one-time contribution to AlterNet, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you. Click here to donate by check.

alternet logo

Tough Times

Demand honest news. Help support AlterNet and our mission to keep you informed during this crisis.