DURST: What They Say -- What They Mean

The best part of the election, except for the pre victory parties in the lobbyists' suites at the Marriot, is the wealth of mindless crap passing for press releases coming out of campaign headquarters.WHAT THEY SAY: This election is about trust.WHAT THEY MEAN: If we actually win this thing, we trust the moon will fall out of the sky.WHAT THEY SAY: The President thinks the race is going down to the wire.WHAT THEY MEAN: The wire is tightly rolled in his pocket.WHAT THEY SAY: Children should not experiment with drugs.WHAT THEY MEAN: We had our fun, now screw the kids.WHAT THEY SAY: Campaign reform is our highest priority.WHAT THEY MEAN: And it will be right up until the election.WHAT THEY SAY: The Indonesian contribution controversy is the greatest scandal in American history.WHAT THEY MEAN: Wolf. Hey everybody, look, another wolf.WHAT THEY SAY: Archer Daniels Midland: Supermarket To The World.WHAT THEY MEAN: Archer Daniels Midland: Rip Off Convenience Store To The World.WHAT THEY SAY: The Premier has been determined to be healthy enough to undergo his triple bypass.WHAT THEY MEAN: He's been off the sauce for a whole month now.Will Durst wishes every year was an election year. Oh yeah, that's right, they are.

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