DURST: Warren Christopher is Out

Well, thank God Warren Christopher is out of the State Department. I always worried when he went to state funerals that foreign dignitaries might think we were mocking their deceased leader by sending a corpse. He looked like a stitched together pathology project by Caribbean med school rejects. The only guy in America who makes Dr. Kevorkian seem chipper.And now Clinton wants to replace him with UN Ambassador Madeleine Albright? If you listen real close you can hear crushed beer cans bouncing off of Montana double wides' tin walls. There it is: just barely audible over the squeak of the trailers' tortured springs. "Does Bubba expect flower arranging to become the next global crisis? She's a woman! The hell does a woman know about quelling international disputes? Maybe she could whip up a nice batch of muffins and get Saddam Hussein to reveal the whereabouts of his chemical plants. 'Maddy, these little chunks of semi sweet chocolate are an inspiration. Ask me anything. I am under your power.' Name one woman who knew how to put the best interests of her country over her family."Okay -- Golda Meier, Margaret Thatcher, Eva Peron. Time to scatter newspapers on the floor people. When that glass ceiling cracks, it shatters.Will Durst is hiding under the credenza.

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