Durst: V-Chips

Clinton proposed a bill featuring a "V-chip" which will electronically block television programming deemed too violent. Instead of Big Brother, we're witnessing the birth of Big Nanny here. The rationale is; the unending stream of sleaze and ugliness is numbingly damaging to kids. No word yet, as to how C-Span would be affected. The problem is where do you stop? Aren't you going to need an "MFT/ Monkey Feces Tossing" chip for the Discovery Channel? And a "LGS/ Loud Greedy Stupidity" chip for game shows? And a "VCA/ Vile Cretinous Asswipe" chip for the Rush Limbaugh Show? I bet Frito Lay is already lobbying to get awarded the chip concession. Afternoon talk shows will warrant a whole container ship of Pringles. Besides, how many parents do you know who can program their VCR without their kids help? It'd be poetic justice if kids end up installing a "BS-chip" that would block out all those Sunday Morning public affairs programs and put holes in the national news the size of Newt Gingrich's ego. If the average kid has witnessed 100,000 acts of violence by the age of 12, how many examples of glib hypocrisy and self-serving deceit do you suppose they've seen? Enough to get Larry King Live banned for all eternity is my guess.

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