DURST: Unsolved PBS Mysteries

Defying the age old tradition of offering up to the public only recycled slop like other lazy patronizing networks we disdainfully refuse to name, PBS is proud to announce it's daring new innovative entry into this year's fall schedule.In an unprecedented coup, Public Broadcasting has picked up the rights to "Unsolved Mysteries" and will air an entire season branching off into more metaphysical and philosophical directions with episodes devoted to plumbing the depths of inscrutability, answering the unanswerable and other queries into the enigmatic.- How do the English reproduce?- Where are all the baby pigeons?- Lexus LS400 or Infinity Q45?- Venice: City of Enchantment or a bunch of open sewers with mediocre outdoor cafes nearby?- Why does white trash invariably develop red necks?- What is the deal with those darn Balkans?- Pinocchio's Nose: simply a political occupational hazard, or does it extend to broadcast news and sports management as well?- Why is the other side of the pillow always cooler? as explained by Stephen Hawking.- How does Ken Burns remain humble?- German cuisine: an oxymoron?The show will be produced by the Electric Company in association with Frontline. Noam Chomsky will replace Robert Stack as narrator and the whole thing is brought to you by the punctuation mark "?".Will Durst is wondering if an episode will explain Celine Dion's appeal.

Enjoy this piece?

… then let us make a small request. AlterNet’s journalists work tirelessly to counter the traditional corporate media narrative. We’re here seven days a week, 365 days a year. And we’re proud to say that we’ve been bringing you the real, unfiltered news for 20 years—longer than any other progressive news site on the Internet.

It’s through the generosity of our supporters that we’re able to share with you all the underreported news you need to know. Independent journalism is increasingly imperiled; ads alone can’t pay our bills. AlterNet counts on readers like you to support our coverage. Did you enjoy content from David Cay Johnston, Common Dreams, Raw Story and Robert Reich? Opinion from Salon and Jim Hightower? Analysis by The Conversation? Then join the hundreds of readers who have supported AlterNet this year.

Every reader contribution, whatever the amount, makes a tremendous difference. Help ensure AlterNet remains independent long into the future. Support progressive journalism with a one-time contribution to AlterNet, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you. Click here to donate by check.