DURST: Toy Marketing

PBS is getting a measure of heat lately for marketing The Teletubbies to fill that all important 1 to 2 year old niche in the toy market. What's the big problem? America today is not about making things, it's about buying them. And what better time to start nurturing a consumer mentality in children than when they have yet begun to speak. Like they say, you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Pre toddlers don't have to unlearn any bad foreign buying habits. Old enough to breathe, old enough to brand. They're going to watch TV anyhow; would you rather they learn their peer group behavior from "All My Children"? As a matter of fact, why stop at age 1? Coming soon from a savvy marketer near you: Crib TV. Lot's of brightly colored lights in the form of a Swoosh and subliminal commercial voices extolling the benefits of Gerbers Baby Food over those other "yucky" brands. And all right, I know this is stretching a little but how about some fiber optic messages right through the fallopian tube. Just flashes of lights, maybe in morse code. Internal womb tattoos might be too painful to be worth their while, but think of the rights fees. I'm working on it.

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