DURST: The Thruth Is Out There

Just in time for the 50th anniversary of the Roswell Incident, the Feds released a new version of what happened at the infamous New Mexico town in 1947, and surprise surprise, it turns out to be substantially different than the explanation they gave in their 1994 report, which contradicted previous official records which mostly consisted of: "Show's over. There's nothing to see here. Go home. Or we'll shoot you." Methinks the lads doth protest too much. First of all, what witnesses claimed to have seen happen in 47, didn't happen until 53. The people who thought they saw alien bodies were mistaken by six years. And who of us haven't screwed up memories of life changing experiences by six years? Second of all, the spacecraft was actually a disabled weather balloon, and there were no bodies. Third off, okay, maybe there were bodies, but they were crash test dummies. Fourth off, the dummies were painted by Keane to resemble Keir Dullea. Still doesn't explain the weird smell a civilian attributed to the bodies but that could easily be written off as the stench of a lame government coverup grotesquely constructed according to limited available facts surrounding secret military installations in an attmept to avoid destroying worldwide religious credos and causing mass panic. If you listen real close the echoes sound familiar. Might that be Jack Nicholson telling us for our own good: "You Can't Handle The Truth"? Will Durst thinks they bent the facts until they looked like a bicycle spoke caught in the spin cycle of a washing machine used for circus tents.

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