DURST: The New Newt
We should have seen this one coming like the return of the Chicken Flu, or that weird summer rash that gets under your belt and doesn't go away until your family leaves after Thanksgiving. The Speaker of the House wants to keep his options open to run for President in campaign 2000, so he is now in the process of renovating his image. Like a lizard shedding his skin, this recidivistic event has become anticipated in Washington like Cherry Blossom Blight or herpes. The new Newt. The newest Newt. The Newtest Newt. You know, I'm thinking, in order to really impress the money people he's serious this time, Mister G is going to have to take himself a new tact. What this Georgia Peach needs is a slogan. And if you're thinking, I'm just the guy to give him one, you're right.* The Speaker of the House: He Looks Out For No. 1.* Newt Gingrich: No Ethics Violations In Months.* You Don't Have To Trust Him To Admire Him.* Newter Than He Wants To Be.* He's Not As Weasely As He Looks.* The New Newt: Hasn't Abandoned A Wife While She Was Recuperating From Cancer Surgery Since The First One.* Don't Worry: He's Not Contagious.* The Newtmeister: Sleaze Does Matter.* No He Doesn't Always Make Sense, But He's Loud.* He May Be An Asshole, But He's Our Asshole.Will Durst hopes Newt runs, but Will Durst is a comic.