DURST: The Most Exciting Sporting Event in the World

Now let me get this straight. The World Cup is the most exciting sporting event in the world, right? So that would have to make Seniors Tour Knitting Circles number two. With Supermodels Filling In Crossword Puzzles With Ink a close third. "And Firdley passes it to Rodriguez who passes it back to Firdley who passes it to Rodriguez, who stands still for at least twenty seconds. Genius tactical move. He's put the attack back on the full boil now. Rodriguez passes it back to Firdley who takes a shot and it's ... no, it bounces off the crossbar, and so, late in the second stoppage time, the score remains, nil, nil." Nobody ever knows what time it is and the only camera angle they got is the one where the lens is attached to the inside rim of the Mir Space Station. Then they give out these red and yellow cards to players who have the audacity to get in the way of other players and attempt to alter their effectiveness. The hell is that? These guys would last about fifteen seconds in the NFL. Of course Americans don't understand any sport that doesn't involve an eighth of a ton no neck brain dead behemoth pieces of premium beef tearing each other apart like the last hamburger at a mad dog picnic. And after all, in soccer, that's the fans job. WiAe is not one of those Americans. Go Holland.

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