DURST: The Modern Story of Christmas

The Modern Story of Christmas.Mary's home pregnancy test surprisingly had come up positive. Joseph was upset, but after the Carpenters Union HMO herbalist prescribed 5,000 cc's of Zoloft, he settled down. The young family wandered over to Bethlehem courtesy of a donkey from Rome Rents, but the keeper of the Appianway Inn had given away their room to a particularly rowdy attendee of the RedSeaAde Gladiator convention. The two eventually traded some shelving futures for overnight space in a barn owned by the local distributor of Burning Bush Beer. After a angelic labor assisted by Ease-It, the extract of a local poppy derivative, Christ, the child for whom Christmas was named after, was born.Three wise men, following the large candlelit display for Burning Bush Beer, showed up and visited after paying the four scheckel cover and two drink minimum. One arrived with an offering of Garlique-O-Myhr, a garlic substitute with amazing replenishing powers. Another was a solicitor who served the Infant King with a restraining order filed by Druids. And the third was a representative from Ra, the running sandal people who tried to sign the Baby Jesus to a thirty three year endorsement contract. Then he grew up and was killed in a hostle takeover.Will Durst holds in his heart the original meaning of Christmas and says "Let's go kick some Moslem butt."

Understand the importance of honest news ?

So do we.

The past year has been the most arduous of our lives. The Covid-19 pandemic continues to be catastrophic not only to our health - mental and physical - but also to the stability of millions of people. For all of us independent news organizations, it’s no exception.

We’ve covered everything thrown at us this past year and will continue to do so with your support. We’ve always understood the importance of calling out corruption, regardless of political affiliation.

We need your support in this difficult time. Every reader contribution, no matter the amount, makes a difference in allowing our newsroom to bring you the stories that matter, at a time when being informed is more important than ever. Invest with us.

Make a one-time contribution to Alternet All Access, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you.

Click to donate by check.

DonateDonate by credit card
Donate by Paypal

Don't Sit on the Sidelines of History. Join Alternet All Access and Go Ad-Free. Support Honest Journalism.