DURST: The Marijuana Questionnaire

Sometimes I think our government is so stuck in the 1930's, they should all be wearing spats. They refuse to accept pot can be used as a cheap effective medicine. For crum's sake, it grows in the ground; when's the last time you got a Pina Colada off the cocktail tree?If it's bad for you, doesn't that mean God screwed up? Their little refrain has gotten more tiresome than a 24 hour Michael Bolton station. "Marijuana, the heathen devil weed, causes severe brain damage and various incurable strains of venereal disease. Think of this: everybody who ever smoked dope has died, especially jazz musicians. If you suspect your son, daughter and or boss of smoking marijuana, ask yourself these few simple questions.* Are they having too much fun?* Do they wear sunglasses at odd hours of the day, like at the breakfast table?* Does their major source of protein come from individually wrapped packets of Chee-Tos?* Is their hair extraordinarily sticky?* Do they break into giggling fits for no apparent reason?* Are the seed burn holes in their denim jackets referred to as 'the bombing pattern'?* Have you noticed they have an increased tendency to fall asleep while operating gas powered yard tools?* Are they confused by their shoes?* Is their philosophical world centered around Roadrunner cartoons?Will Durst doesn't smoke pot, but he likes the smell.


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