DURST: The HMO Anti Defamation League

A new report reveals 87 percent of doctors are frustrated with the quality of care their patients are receiving from their HMOs. They're frustrated? Think of us!The response has been typical corporate buzzard tongue double speak. The HMO Anti Defamation League immediately trotted out their pretty blow dried press relations lady. You know the one. The extremely presentable lady who speaks patiently and condescendingly like she's addressing eight year olds on a water slide about the dangers of nuclear terrorism and horseplay.As a matter of fact, the more loathsome the industry, the more presentable the woman. So this one was more than presentable. This one was of Republican Ambassadorial caliber. Think Liddy Dole without all the wacky spontaneity. And she charmingly captivated us by mouthing all the correct perky things like "We take our responsibility as America's point man on the front lines of patient care seriously. Furthermore we welcome this report as a challenge to our charge as a national trust with an even sharper eye towards obligation, duty and accountability." Or some such crap.They actually acted like they were beaming about the report, which is a lot like a bunch of fat lazy cobras welcoming the arrival of a division of mongoose SWAT teams. You just want to pimp slap these people until something lifelike comes out of their face. Preferably a small intestine.Maybe not you, but me. Nine out of ten doctors agree.Will Durst does want to pimp slap these people.

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