DURST: The Budget Cease-Fire

Real soon, a bunch of designated dobermans from Congress and the Clinton administration will meet to negotiate the budget compromise in a summit that will make Mideast peace talks look like sixth grade intramural basketball possession calls. By July, either the President will enact a law concerning the legislation, or... he won't. If the unthinkable comes to pass, an event with a likelihood potential equal to a tornado diagonally tagging a trailer court in the Midwest within the next ten years, several things could happen. *One. A bipartisan committee ignoring petty partisan squabbles and lobbyist pressure makes shared sacrifice based on ability to pay the National policy. And the moon falls out of the sky, and oil wells spring from the rotting cores of hibernating gladiola bulbs. *Two. Both sides claim the reasons the talks have stalled is the opposition is selling out the voters to Satan. Dick Armey threatens a slander suit. *Three. Newt's mob reluctantly raises the minimum corporate tax rate and in return, Clinton allows the homeless to be bussed to the National Zoo and fed to the lions. *Four. Newt throws a fit demanding common courtesy from the House rest room attendant who should not be lighting matches and going "whoo whoo" everytime the speaker uses the stall. *Five. They adjourn to watch the World Wrestling Federation on TBS. Will Durst learned in high school, the greatest burden is a large potential.

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