DURST: Thank God the Holidays are Over

Thank God the holidays are over and if you didn't have to travel, you should consider yourself luckier than Steve Forbes escaping an audit. I think I'd rather sit on an Athens to Sparta diesel bus in the poultry section than fly during December.First you have to get the seat which means at least a three hour tour to voice mail hell. "If you have been waiting so long you have lost the will to speak, press 9, followed by a repeated pounding of the asterisk."Then, once you're connected to a real person you have approximately a five second window to get a ticket cheaper than a season pass on the Concorde. They sucker you in with those trick prices that as stable as a Mojave Desert souvenir stand made out of popcicles. That's how they get you. "Only three hundred bucks round trip if you can leave after six PM, on a Wednesday with two stopovers as long as someone in your party volunteers to de-ice the wings in Denver, and you stay over a minimum of two consecutive Friday happy hours but not in contiguous months." You go to the gate, look out at the plane and its dented. Graffiti all over the side. Some of it in Arabic.Oh, be assured, Will Durst has more.

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