DURST: Strange Bedfellows

It's not bad enough their new operating system, OS 8, makes an Apple desktop look like a weenie Windows 95 but now the dreaded enemy has been invited into bed wearing the same bloody boots he stomped them with. Bill Gates has announced Microsoft is buying $150 million worth of Apple stock and setting up a division to work with the MacIntosh. Redmond and Cupertino? Microsoft and Apple? You got to be kidding. Working together? Tearing at each other's eyes with taloned claws dipped in ripened toxic waste sludge is more like it. A joint company barbecue picnic between People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and the Hog Butchers Council is likelier. The Dallas Cowboys and San Francisco Forty Niners linking hands and singing "Karma Chameleon" during an intermission of Riverdance makes more sense. Apple and Microsoft, what's next: Tom Brokaw and Peter Jennings teaming up for the Olympic synchronized swimming pairs event? The people I feel sorriest for are the legions of Apple apostles who are slightly more rabid than English Soccer fans on a three day drunk after a World Cup Quarterfinal Soccer loss to Ireland. Obviously, Anti Trust legislation in this country has gone the way of the Stutz Bearcat hood ornament. And now so has any sort of distinction between the world's two competing operating systems. Anyone interested in slightly frayed apostle robes suitable for use as small engine cleaning rags should inquire. The Will Durst family owns about four Apples and much whining is going on.

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