DURST: Stiff & Clean

Alternet.org
April 26, 2000

Right now, Janet Reno is considering whether to appoint a special investigator to investigate the invesitigation that surrounds the Vice President to see if he breathes through his lungs or has hidden gills. Actually it's got something to do with money. Al said he's confident he didn't run afoul of "any controlling legal authority." Which, admittedly I have no idea what that means, but it sounds like he still thinks he can slip the net on this one. Yes, the man who marketed himself like starch; "Ol' Stiff & Clean" turns out not to be so soilless. Although soulless is still firm in the repertoire. The guy has moves frozen androids would drool over. Makes granite look fluid. And now that Prince Al, the illegitmate child of Mr. Clean and Mother Nature has problems you wouldn't wish on an Islamic Jihad orphanage suicide bomber, he's responded with all the grace of a bowling ball with corners. Even tried to drag some Buddhist nuns down with him. Now that's cold. You know what I think, I think Clinton's Teflon bill has come due and Goreboy just got stuck with it. Though I'm sure I join all the Democrats including Richard Gephardt in wishing the second in command well in his turn in the spotlight. The one with crosshairs on it. Will Durst thinks he could market "Stiff & Clean" but not as a starch.

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