DURST: Soccer Moms
Soccer Moms are the big demographic buzz word this year. Which I guess is supposed to be middle aged white suburban housewives. Some kind of racist thing implying minorities don't play soccer. Bocce Ball Moms probably don't carry that much weight.Both parties are courting this constituency like a nerd trying to con a cheerleader into attending the Senior Prom. This has produced the uneasy spectacle of Bob Dole appearing without a tie and his shirt undone. Can't wait for the gold medallion to emerge. Probably wait till the last week of the campaign.And of course everybody is playing dark suited Keystone Kop falling over each other proclaiming their support for family values. Just exactly who is against family values? Trolls? Single cell paramecium that reproduce by dividing? Big headed alien commanders posing as oaken buckets of wet dirt? That's about it. Besides, which family values are we supposed to aspire to? Clinton's flexible ones? Reagan's imaginary ones? Maybe Gore's, the son of a rich Senator? Is that how we're supposed to make our way in the world: pull ourselves up by the bootstraps of inheritance? Well, hell, why didn't you say so. Point me to my trust fund and count me in.Will Durst's trust fund is known by a variety of other names, including Lotto, Super Lotto, and Scratcher.