DURST: Rewrite That Textbook!

Alternet.org
April 26, 2000

It is the height of hypocrisy for us to wait even a day before responding to the Kansas State Board of Education deleting evolution from their science curriculum. The only way to truly send our message of support is to encourage them to widen their policy of protecting impressionable young schoolchildren from actual learning by suggesting other objectionable course subjects to be struck. And I'm just the guy to do it.-- History. Just change the whole course of study to reflect the way we'd want it to be. Oh, that's right, we've already done that.-- Geography. Rescind all that foreign emphasis. Concentrate on what's really important. Kansas.-- Mathematics. Why not abolish that whole silly fraction thing. We'll round everything up to the next highest number. Like the federal government.-- English. Gerunds, schmerunds. Very overrated and always getting in the freaking way.-- Study Hall. From now on, it's simply "Hall". Too much pressure.-- Civics and Government. Kansas should lose the "Civics" part and change the whole thing to "White People's Religion and Government" in order to be consistent.-- Home Room. Take your pick. One or the other but not both.-- Physical Education. Exercise is the work of the devil. Steroids accomplish the same thing.Will Durst would suggest Kansas restrict home ec to only girls, but they probably already do.

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