DURST: Really Stupid Spies

It's one of the saddest and most unspoken side effects of the fall of the Berlin Wall. Really stupid spies. The U.S. has spies that other countries would dismiss as bathroom attendants. In 1986, Aldrich Ames, a career CIA officer making 60 grand a year, tops, bought a half million dollar house with cash. Eight years later, the Agency got suspicious. Who was in charge of internal security here? Stevie Wonder?Now, Harold James Nicholson, former station chief in Romania is arrested after failing three lie detector tests and observed photographing secret files at his desk. One of Nicholson's former jobs was to train new spies for overseas assignments. Which may explain the rash of operatives who have been caught with documents forged in crayon. To top it off, this American Inspector Clouseau had the Russians direct deposit his treason checks in his local bank. This guy was a spy and he couldn't figure out how to use a numbered Swiss account? Did he keep shooting himself in the throat with stun darts by lighting the wrong end of his cigarette as well? Why he didn't just wear a big sign with "Will Spy For Certificates of Deposit" printed in Cyrillic and tied to his neck with a Moscow Dynamo soccer scarf is a mystery that will haunt authorities for years.Will Durst thinks George Smiley is laughing.

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