Durst: Quebec

Whew! Dodged a bullet there. We were THAT close to seeing the Domino effect ravage North America. First it would have been Quebec, then Upper Michigan and pretty soon Miami would have chosen the separatist route. Called themselves Cuba Norte. Or if the powerful South Florida bartenders lobby had their say, Cuba Libre. The Canadian federalists argued that Quebec leaving Canada would have been like losing a limb. Yeah, a game leg that insists on wearing a more fashionable shoe and keeps trying to turn into Jerry Lewis film festivals while the rest of you is getting on a bus to go to work. Forgive me for being insensitive, but if these guys are so concerned about preserving their precious French culture, how come they don't just move to FRANCE? They're living in Canada for crum's sake. Maybe it's time they start assimilating and get used to drinking beer instead of red wine while practicing their moose calls wearing flannel shirts and collecting sap. I am disappointed the Montreal Canadians hockey team doesn't have to change their name. I was hoping for something Continental like the Montreal Crepes, or the Montreal Resentful Snail Eaters, or the Montreal We Have Relatives in Frances.

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