DURST: Presidential Quiz Show
Nine out of 10 historians agree; Reagan picked George Bush Sr. in an effort to appear Presidential, and in turn, Bush had to scrape the bottom of the barrel with a 36 inch Exacto Knife to come up with Quayle. If George W is indeed destined for an August balloon inundation, who the hell could he possibly choose? Wally Cox is dead. Barney Fife was a fictional character. And Mr. Bean was born on foreign soil. And think of poor Dan Quayle. He was supposed to be the stupid one. Probably holed up somewhere laughing his dumb ass off. Or dumbe asse off. And you know the other guys are all canceling gigs like a drummer with Hepatitis B after a week in Amsterdam, cramming for the same kind of third degree Bush received. But let's be fair. Shouldn't the subjects each candidate is grilled on be as arcane as foreign policy was to George W? Just turn the debates into a TV quiz show and call it, "So You Want To Be The Guy Millionaires Suck Up To." Steve Forbes: Name the top four selling brands of motor oil. Al Gore: List these four Beastie Boy albums in order of release ending with the most recent. A. Paul's Boutique. B. License to Ill. C. Check Your Head. D. Hello Nasty. Pat Buchanan: Name four countries in Africa and South Africa doesn't count. Bill Bradley: Name all five Spice Girls. John McCain: Name the winners of the World Series during the years 1968- 1973. Donald Trump: What are the names of your children? Will Durst wonders if they're feeling confident.